Article in the Kingston Daily Freeman

Imagine this headline in a secular paper in New York: Tillson author parents with help from God. Well it's true! Read it on-line and support these kinds of articles with a comment.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Excerpts from Letters to God...Pursue Truth, Trust God

Suggestions: Pursue the truth about your prodigal. When you discover it, don’t run away or hide from it. Face it head on with God’s help. Try not to fall apart. If your problematic son or daughter is not willing to face the truth, then decide on a course of action and stick to it. Consult others who have experience in the area of your child’s difficulty. Plan an intervention with friends or family to convince them of their need for assistance. Pray and trust God. He is able to bring your wandering child back home and turn this evil around and fashion good from  it. Be patient and wait for God to act.
 
Dear Jesus,

I don’t understand any of this. I hoped and prayed it wouldn’t come to this, but You chose not to answer my prayers. Once again, I feel like the psalmist David. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken Me? Why are you so far from helping mend from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry in the daytime, but you do not hear; And in the night season, and am not silent” (Psalm 22:1-2). Lord, I did not keep this pain away from You. I shared it and cried out to You. Please hear me Lord and answer. Help me, Father, to deal with this.

Wake Ben up as you have woken us up to his problem. O Lord, You sent Your son “to open the eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness” (Isaiah 42:7). I pray You will do so—release Ben from the powers that bind him and form his self-made prison. Release him from the bondages of his addiction and the power he allowed Satan to have in his life through drugs. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Lessons Learned: While this was a painful time, God did some needed surgery in my life. I went through a lot of questioning and repenting. The Lord helped me come to grips with some of my attitudes that were wrong. I should have let Holbrook have more control when Ben was younger. It was difficult for me because I didn’t trust my husband’s judgment on some things. It was challenging trying to determine the right course of action. My husband had a lot of issues and problems of his own. Perhaps I took too much of the upper hand and let Holbrook step out of the picture. All I can do now is repent and try to respect him more.
 

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Freedom from Addictions: Tough Love and Lessons Learned

Freedom from Addictions: Tough Love and Lessons Learned: Dear Lord,             I’m weary of this winter. I want spring to come. Friends tell me Ben’s problems might go on for longer, but I ...

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Tough Love and Lessons Learned



Dear Lord,
            I’m weary of this winter. I want spring to come. Friends tell me Ben’s problems might go on for longer, but I don’t want to hear that Lord. I want to believe You will deliver him before he falls any further from grace.

Lessons Learned: I wanted Ben to be spared from any more pain and confusion, and get on with his life. But he kept wavering back and forth between his will and God’s. Unfortunately, my friends were right to a point. Ben had to fall a little further, to the destruction of his own rebellion and self-will, but not his soul.

Suggestions: Tough love is necessary when dealing with an addict. Don’t say something  and then do another. Stick to your word and don’t give into your prodigal’s demands. Try to find out what’s really happening and make your decisions based on that. Go to a counselor together with your spouse and decide on a course of action. Plan ahead for several different scenarios so you can be prepared and not get tripped up by your loved one. Addicts are very good manipulators, and they will admit they pull on their parent’s heartstrings—so be aware.

April 16th
            The freezing rain of April chills the bones and dampens the spirit.
            But the presence of the Holy Spirit can drive the coldness out like a warm fire.
            The Holy Spirit is a gift of spiritual vitality and warmth in a frozen wasteland.
            If the chilling winds never blew, there would be no need for the warmth of the fire, no need to labor for the crackling of wood, no need for heat to chase away the cold.
            So too with the Holy Spirit. When the cold winds blow and the icy rains fall, we must kindle the fire of the Comforter.
Come Holy Spirit, set my heart ablaze.



Dear Father,
            Please help Ben to do what he says he will do. Help him not to be wishy washy. “He is a double minded man, unstable in all his ways” (James 1:8). He thinks he’s doing the right thing in his own eyes, but he doesn’t know how to judge situations. He is very nonjudgmental and generous to others. I pray You will honor that and balance him out. Teach him to walk in the light of Your ways and not what he thinks is right. “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death” (Proverbs 14:12). Turn him around. Show him how to be a wise son. Help him to recall what he learned in the past. “My son, do not forget my law, But let your heart keep my commandment” (Proverbs 3:1). Help me compliment him more. He’s writing in a journal and also copying Bible verses. He wants to walk the right path. Dear God, please strengthen him, and show him the way.

Lessons Learned: At the time, I didn’t know Ben was addicted to alcohol. My husband and I didn’t know his drug problem started with drinking. Once he had a few beers or anything stronger, he lost his resistance to stay away from drugs. He wanted to do what was right, but he just couldn’t keep it up for a long period of time. I wasn’t sure if he had an addictive personality, and I was trying to see the positive side. However, I desperately wanted him to go for help consistently, but he wouldn’t admit he had a serious problem. I was torn in two, trying to figure out what the real problem was, while trying to believe Jesus would take care of it all. Ben was in denial, and to some extent, so was I because of a lack of understanding.

Suggestions: Pursue the truth about your prodigal. When you discover it, don’t run away or hide from it. Face it head on with God’s help. Try not to fall apart. If your problematic son or daughter is not willing to face the truth, then decide on a course of action and stick to it. Consult others who have experience in the area of your child’s difficulty. Plan an intervention with friends or family to convince them of their need for assistance. Pray and trust God. He is able to bring your wandering child back home and turn this evil around and fashion good from  it. Be patient and wait for God to act.
 



Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Excerpt From Letters to God on a Prodigal Son



 For the next few weeks I'll be featuring excerpts from Letters to God on a Prodigal Son

Feb. 14th

Dear Lord,
I read in my daily devotional that when we go though times of darkness, it is a time for us to listen. I’m listening Lord! Speak to me. It’s a wintry mix outside—snow and rain, with hail adding to the danger. The gentle falling snow has given way to sleet and freezing rain. Snow and sleet make for very dangerous driving conditions.

            Ben is a wintry mix of snow and sleet. He said it himself. His flesh is stronger than his spirit. He wants to do good, like his own father, but it’s difficult for him. He’s driving down a dangerous path of addiction. I can hardly believe this is true. I should have opened my eyes wider, observed more.

If I put everything together that I’ve read in the last few days, it seems that you are saying that there is a time for judgment over Ben’s actions and decisions. The book of Jeremiah shows this clearly. You gave the Israelites many chances, just as we gave Ben. God spoke to His people through Jeremiah that He would judge the nation, but they refused to listen. Judgment came though King Nebuchadnezzar. Benjamin has been weighed and found lacking. However, unlike the Old Testament, he doesn’t need to be destroyed. Perhaps You’ll put him in exile for a while, the way you did with the Israelites, then bring him back to You. But now it appears, this is a time of judgment.

The Bible makes it clear. “God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows” (Galatians 6:7). Ben has sown some bad seeds, and he needs to reap the consequences without me stepping in and sheltering him. He needs to find these things out for himself. We gave him many chances and he’s failed. I don’t want him to see himself as a failure, but he needs to understand there are consequences to his actions. He’s turned off his phone, avoiding us. He doesn’t want to confront the issues and talk with us. What should he do? Almost everyone I spoke with thinks he should come home. Lord, what is Your will?

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Early Release by Brandon

This is an Excerpt from the book Transformed--Inspiring Stories of Freedom:


Brandon’s Story


I’m only eighteen years old, but I started using drugs at an early age. Both of my parents were addicts, but my father went to Transformation Life Center last year and graduated; he did really well. He wanted me to come here (TLC), but I didn’t want to. He found crack in my room. He told me I had to get out or come here. I always argued with him. His motives were to help me, but I didn’t want help at the time.

My life of drugs began when I was prescribed a barbiturate at age nine. By eleven I started drinking alcohol. This started the dark part of my life. I was prescribed medication for depression and anger, and I talked to a lot of psychiatrists. I had no sense of peace or joy. My parents got divorced when I was five and my dad was an alcoholic. Throughout high school I partied and graduated at seventeen.

After that I continued to party. I lived with friends for a little while, and then with my girlfriend for a couple of months. She was against drugs, and when she found out I was using more, she kicked me out, but she wanted to help me. She called my dad and tried to get me here to TLC. She told me to get help, but I wouldn’t.

I lived on the streets for a while in South Jersey. My mom lives in Philly, and I moved in with her. She’s a drug addict, and I would use drugs with her. She was heavy into crack and partying. I lived with her in a crack house. We bounced from house to house and leaned on other people. I’d stay at my sister’s sometimes, but she didn’t want me using drugs.

By that time my dad was in TLC. I saw how happy he was and that annoyed me, but I was curious. He came out a different person, always so happy. I didn’t understand, and I didn’t want to go to rehab. But God changed my heart a couple of days before I came here.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

In the Midst of Your Storm

I wrote this several years ago for the sequel of When God Speaks which I'm working on now. I thought it was appropriate in light of the storms that ravaged the Midwest and South. I think it also applies to battling addictions.

“You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you (Psalm 91:5-7).


In the midst of the tornado that threatens your life is a vortex of peace. It is I. In Me peace resides, while hurricane winds and twisters spin around you. Prayer will bring you to the place of peace inside the eye of the storm. Cry out to Me and I will hear you. I will answer you when your energy is spent. Listen for My still quiet voice calling to you. It will bring healing as you draw close to Me.

A deep abiding relationship with Me will keep you in a place of peace. Faith and trust will keep your spirit in the palm of My hand, untouched while even the body suffers. Inside My hand is a kernel of peace and joy inexplicable. It is the joy the apostle and martyrs experienced while being tortured. It is a power available to you through My Holy Spirit. It is yours for the asking.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

10 POWERFUL STRATEGIES FOR BREAKTHROUGH PRAYER: PART 2

             These  are the rest of my notes from the  presentation that I did in January on: Overcoming Addiction Through Prayer:

6. Realize that God is in control, but you aren’t. Let go of your prodigal or circumstance. This is a difficult but necessary step. Sometimes you just have to let your prodigal fall if that’s what they’re bent on doing!  Don’t let anything manipulate you : From pg. 70 Letters to God on a Prodigal Son: "Tough love is necessary when dealing with an addict. Don’t say something  and then do another. Stick to your word and don’t give into your prodigal’s demands. Try to find out what’s really happening and make your decisions based on that. Go to a counselor together with your spouse and decide on a course of action. Plan ahead for several different scenarios so you can be prepared and not get tripped up by your loved one. Addicts are very good manipulators, and they will admit they pull on their parent’s heartstrings—so be aware."
.


7. Ask for wisdom in each situation you encounter. Ex. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. … (James 1: 5). Seek the advice of others who are godly and understand the particular bondage your prodigal faces or your particular circumstance. Still your heart and listen for what the spirit is speaking to you. Read the word of God and let it speak to you. Ex. Kindle the fire of the Holy Spirit, even when you feel overwhelmed. He will give you strength Phil. 1:19.

8. Personalize what the scriptures say, add your name and speak to your circumstances. Examples:
      You are “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. Surely he (You) will save Ben from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.” (Psalm 91:2).
      “You look upon his (Ben’s) affliction and trouble and forgive all his sins” (Psalm 25:18).
Let the Holy Spirit empower you personally. Rely on Him.

9. Learn spiritual warfare tactics: Be covered with the blood, clothed with the full armor of God Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whrmor of God that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. Therefore, take up the whole armor of God that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand" (Ephesians 6:12).


Break bondages of addiction through praise and worship, pg.104 LTG "Though I need to continue waging spiritual warfare against this evil, I also need to press on and praise God. I’ve continued to read Worship Warriors and it’s helped me to see that worship can break the chains of the enemy."

pg. 105 (LTG) "I bind the strongman, his addiction to drugs, so that he will no longer have power in Ben’s life. I break this bondage of addiction and drug use. I cover Ben with the blood of Jesus, and pray that he would repent of this sin. In Jesus’ name. Amen."


10. Thank God for small steps, progress p 65 LTG "Help me to see the positive side of this situation. Ben is back, alive and well. Help me to “Trust in the Lord with all my heart, lean not unto my own understanding. In all my ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct my paths” (Proverbs 3:5). Thank God for doing what He says He will do before you see the circumstances changing, pg.105. Use scripture and precede it with Thank you, pg. 154:

"Dear Lord,
Thank You that You “Uphold all who fall. And raise up all who are bowed down” (Psalm 145:14). You have lifted Ben up by your mercy and grace. You didn’t allow him to stay in the hole and die there. You picked him up. “And lifts the needy out of the ash heap” (Psalm 113:7). Thank You so much for your mercy. “Oh, give thanks to the Lord for He is good! For His mercy endures forever” (1Chronicles 16:34). Thank You Lord that You had mercy on me and my son. I will be eternally grateful. In Jesus’ name. Amen!"

If you would like prayer for a prodigal, contact me at anitawiter7@yahoo.com







Sunday, February 12, 2012

"Jesus Loves Me," Yes Whitney You Were Right

So Whitney Houseton’s dead. Another causality of drugs and alcohol addiction, though nothing official has come out about her cause of death. While she might not have of OD, most of us know her addiction ruined her career and may have taken her life. She’d been to a number of rehabs, but never got completely clean for long. Why? I can only surmise, but I can hazard a guess that she never personally surrended her life wholeheartedly to God, though she may have had an inkling that Jesus loved her. Interesting that her last song was “Jesus Loves Me.” Though poorly sung, that’s not the point. If only she would have fully accessed the power of that truth—Jesus loved her.


According to one old fashioned preacher, he learned all the doctrine he really needed to know in that one song. It’s really the crux of the gospel. Jesus loved us while we were yet sinners and died on a cross for our sins. His love was unconditional. While Whitney was partying, doing drugs, etc., God still loved her. He also loved me while I was living a sinful life, and He loved my son while in the midst of his addiction. The problem was Whitney didn’t fully receive that love. If she had, she could have accessed the power behind that love (God) and applied it to her life, then she would have been able to break free from the bondage of addiction.

But perhaps she had an inkling of Jesus’ love and that spurred her to sing that childhood song in her final days. Perhaps God’s love was breaking though to her, though her life was falling apart and soon to be ended. While I cannot know her heart, only God can judge that, I can pray that others, who are battling powerful addictions, can come to know the power of Jesus’ love. A love so strong that it not only died for us, but forgave our sins: as in the example of the woman who the Jews wanted to stone to death because she was caught in adultery. Jesus was not condoning her actions, but loving her while she was yet chained to her sin. He challenged the crowd, “If any one of you is without sin, cast the first stone at her” (John 8:7). When no one did, her life was saved. Then he challenged her, “Go and sin no more” (John 8:11). Some believe this was Mary Magdalene, who followed Jesus closely, but who she was is not that important. What’s paramount is the Jesus’ love rescued this woman and changed her.

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, I challenge you (and myself) to think about the true meaning of love. Most Christians consider 1 Corinthians 13, the treatise of love, which it is. But I believe that the life of Jesus is the living example of that love letter, lived out in the flesh. He left heaven, where he was a ruler and creator and came to earth, lived in poverty, was shamed and despised, mentored a group of ignorant fishermen, whom he poured his life into and became his disciples, then he endured one of the most painful ways to die: Roman crucifixion. Finally, and most importantly he arose so that we might have new life in Him… a free gift to all. He did it for us, so that we can be set free! Now that’s love…love that wants to release us from all the chains, bondages and addictions the world, our flesh, and the enemy of our soul, throws our way.

To all the Whitney’s of this world, I pray you come to know the power of God’s love. It’s strong enough to break those bondages in which you are entrapped. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s available to you. To learn more about this read a free sample chapter of Transformed—Inspiring Stories of Freedom and/or Letters to God, on a Prodigal Son—Overcoming Addiction Through Prayer.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Breakthrough Prayer for Addictions

I believe prayer plays a vital role in helping people break free from addiciton. In early January, I spoke at an Aglow meeting about Breakthrough Prayer. I thought it would be beneficial to post my notes for those who attended and those who did not.  I'm breaking it up into two parts. Here's the first five key points:

What Makes for Breakthrough Prayer?


1. Be clean before God. Examine your life. Be covered in the blood of Jesus. He is our righteousness. Repent if necessary, but don’t let others say you are in this circumstance because of sin in your life it that’s not the case. Don’t take on guilt. You are made clean, but let Him search your heart. “Search me oh God and know my heart…” Let God and the Holy Spirit be the one to convict you. Rely on the Holy Spirit for abundant, supernatural strength.



2. Know who you are in Christ and remind yourself often. Stand firm in this. I am accepted...
I am God's child. John 1:12
As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ. John 15:15
I have been justified.Romans 5:1
I am united with the Lord, and I am one with Him in spirit.1 Corinthians 6:17

I have been bought with a price and I belong to God.1 Corinthians 6:19-20
I am a member of Christ's body. 1 Corinthians 12:27

I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child.Ephesians 1:3-8

 I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. Colossians 1:13-14

I am complete in Christ.  Colossians 2:9-10

I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ. Hebrews 4:14-16


3. Understand God’s Character. Know He is your provider, your peace. Let His peace rule in your heart. Rule-Greek: umpire, in control, CALLING THE SHOTS. Let the peace of God rule over your emotions so that you are not overwhelmed by the situation or circumstance.


4. Be totally honest with God. Cry out in your pain. Tell him how we feel, but don’t stop there. Move forward. Important to stand on scriptures that speak to your situation: Some of mine:   "You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You” (Isaiah 26:3). This was a far cry from the actual situation, but I was learning, step by step, to trust God and believe He would eventually transform this terrible mess into something good."


• “God works all things together for good for those who are called according to his purposes” (Romans 8:28). Though I wavered in this belief, I always came back to it. No matter what Ben went though, God could work it out for good. The problem was: would Ben allow God to work in his life? I hoped so.

• “And my God shall supply all my needs according to his riches and glory” (Philippians 4:19). God’s supplies are abundant, and I called upon Him day and night to get me through this emotional time and to keep me from getting really depressed.

• “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5).This was one of my all time favorite verses, and it helped me to stay sane when I just didn’t understand why Ben was making such a major mistake in his life.

Now find your own verses that speak victory into your situation.
 
5. Keep your eyes on the Lord and trust Him. See with eyes of faith. Don’t get discouraged. Keep persevering in prayer, like the woman and the unjust judge: "Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. [2] He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. [3] And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.' "For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, [5] yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!" (Luke 18 1-8).

“Persistent prayer demonstrates our faith in God who at times may delay His answers, but will always act decisively and justly with respect to His people.”